Rule # 32: Enjoy the Little Things

As Tallahassee (played by Woodie Harrelson) once said in the film Zombieland, "Enjoy the Little Things." With this spirit of enjoyment in mind, I offer you a look into what truly makes me happy: seeing what stupid and funny things people can do on Facebook.

*NOTE* If it is difficult to see the entire caption, simply click on the item and the original link will pop up.


I DON'T REMEMBER TURNING S, BUT I'M TOLD THAT THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN GOT DRUNK AND TRIED TO TAKE PICTURES OF MY NO-NO AREA.


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WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE, IN THIS TOWN...


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I LIKE TO DRAW JESUS IN A TUXEDO T-SHIRT BECAUSE IT SAYS, "I WANT TO BE FORMAL, BUT I'M HERE TO PARTY"


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I WOULD HIRE ADMIRAL ACKBAR TO DIRECT THE COMMERCIAL JUST SO HE COULD SAY, "IT'S A WRAP!!!"


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BUT SURPRISINGLY LESS SUSPICIOUS THAN JOINING THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT


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TURKEY w/MAYO SOUNDS GOOD


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I SAW TWO GUYS HUGGING IN THE BATHROOM ONCE FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES, BUT THEY BOTH LIKED IT


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BUT I HAVE HEARD THE DEATH CRY OF SPELL CHECKING


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F-----G SOCIALISTS MAN, THAT'S WHO


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BUT SARAH PALIN IS STILL THE TEA BAGGING QUEEN, RIGHT?


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ALL RETARDS GO TO HEAVEN


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YOU'RE WELCOME


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ATTENTION CUSTOMERS: ALL FREUDIAN SLIPPERS ARE ON SALE THIS WEEK AND ARE LOCATED IN THE 'WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS MOTHER'... ER, I MEAN THE 'UNCONSCIOUS MIND' AISLE


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SADLY, NO. BUT YOU CAN CONSIDER YOURSELF THE GOP FRONT-RUNNER IN ALABAMA'S GUBNERNATORIAL CAMPAIGN.


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HEY, IF SHE WANTS TO VISIT THE GLORY HOLE, WHO AM I TO STOP HER?


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EITHER THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD OR THE DUMBEST


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SHE'S SO EXCITED AND SHE JUST CAN'T HIDE IT.


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NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. IT'S INNOCENT. HEE-HE! SHAMONE!


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TOUCHÉ SALESMAN


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JOKES ON YOU! SHE'S PLASTIC.


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LUKE! TIME FOR DINNER.


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SIGH....


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I'M ALL SHOOK UP


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JASON : WISDOM AS JESUS/MUHAMMAD/MOSES : PHROPHET


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YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST


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BRO CODE FAIL


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POOR RICHARD


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YOU'RE RIGHT, HE IS STUPID


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WHO KNOWS, MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS SHE'LL DEVELOP AND YOU'LL ALL FEEL STUPID FOR MAKING FUN OF HER.


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YOU MAKE A COMPELLING ARGUMENT


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WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU COMBINE MLK Jr'S TWO MOST FAMOUS SPEECHES WITH SARCASM? THIS.


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THE BEST OF THE REST:

Exactly.

His first act as president will be to execute all bears.

I didn't know my priest uses Facebook.

Dude, open notes are the worst!

Michael also likes when it puts the lotion on the skin.

Yes, where does she sign up? Is there, like, a booth or something?

What, is this like a Rochak test?

No. Give her a minute, she'll get it... hopefully.

"And now back to Making Bombs on the DIY Network. I'm Ted Kaczynski. Today we're going to start off by..."

Now George Bush, stop that snickering this instant!

Fuqing. haturs

The next day she realized how those guys kept getting nude shots of her and began drawing her curtains before taking a shower.

Remembering a Fallen Friend:Lt. Robert Collins

With a heavy heart I write this to pay my respect to LT. Robert Collins who was killed in Iraq yesterday.Robert was not just a great soldier he was a great friend who I grew up with throughout Middle school, High School and beyond.Even though we did not talk as much as we use to, I still felt that we were still good friends. I Originally met Robert back in six grade, I was the chubby new kid only living in Fayetteville for about a year at that time. Robert was always a joker even within the first ten minutes on meeting him he made me laugh. When everyone was giving me a hard time with my Braces and the claw attached to it (its a long story) he was there to give me support even though he only knew me for only a few months.That is who Robert was a guy that was compassionate and at the same time had a great sense of humor that could not be matched.

We became closer friends as time grew on going from middle school to High School, were we played high school football together(for a short while).Robert was a man of small stature but with a huge heart and what ever Robert did he would put 100 percent effort . When we played together as defensive tackles ,Robert had a motor that was constantly running. He would face off with Kedric Golston(future NFL player) in practice even if he was out sized by about 60 plus pounds and being thrown around like a rag doll he would still give his all and was a good player. That effort was put into everything he did , I always wished I had the same amount of energy he had. Robert would always be there for people when they needed help, be it in class, personal life or just to give someone a laugh to make them feel better. When I was at my lowest of lows Robert would be there for support.Also was concerned and supportive to my mom with her health problems.I have to mention Robert's girlfriend Nicolle.Nicolle I feel for her because she is one of the kindest people I have ever met and something like this should never happen to her.Robert and Nicolle were a great couple who had a great sense of camaraderie and respect for one another. I send my prayers to Nicolle and her Family and the Collin's Family.

I may have not scene Robert in action but I know he was a great soldier and probably gave his fellow soldiers a great amount of respect and a good laugh as he did for us civilians. I thank Robert ,every person who has served with him and all soldiers for there service for this Country.Even if Robert and I might have had political differences and view points in life we were always civil and very respectful to one another. Robert will be missed and he will be in my memories forever, for being a great person,a great boyfriend and a great soldier. My prayers also go out to PFC Anthony Blount family and to everyone else who was hurt in this terrible act of Violence.

I wouldn't want to leave off in a somber note, it would not be Robert's style. Humor was a very powerful tool for Robert he would light up the room with his humor.There are hundreds of moments I could mention but I will just name a few. Robert knew all of the lyrics to Rappers Delight I really don't know how but he did!!He rapped almost the whole thing in front of a movie theater in his truck with the stereo at full volume and had dozens of people watching him as I am laughing in the passenger seat. That was his style.Another memory was that of the return of Red and Yellow Hulk hogan. The next day in school Robert was wearing the whole hogan get up the bandanna the reseeding hair line the shirt and was playing this song constantly in the lunch room. Robert you were truly a one of a kind.

Rest In Peace Robert Collins.

Ramblings:Game Endings,ipad and a Barn owl

Ah,a new month has started and finally feels like Spring. So what have I been up to since my last blog post? I was doing this, then broke my wrist (which is getting better now) and every time Glenn Beck talks or these people,I find myself doing this. Other then that playing video games, writing lyrics (not easy),working out and more face palms.


I have played many video games over the years and most of them have been good.But, one of the things I have noticed most game endings can be weak, pointless or downright terrible.Some great games have had weak endings Metal Gear Solid 2 and Halo 2 comes to mind.Video games have come along ways from there predecessors, when ending where simple for example Super Mario Brothers. Yes you had to jump threw fire, fight king Koopa to get that ending (By the way princess peach gets captured again, no joke!!). Anticlimactic yes but for its time period perfectly acceptable . With games now with more complex story lines there have only been a few endings where I felt truly satisfied.Most recently Assassins Creed II blew me away with a ending that was mind boggling(in a good way), yet tied the story together and allows it to expand in the next game. I would love to see more games have a more cohesive ending but, I can understand the difficulty in doing that given developer restraints but, that is another story for another day.

Since this is ramblings, I don't care about the Ipad there I said it. Is it nice? yes, but this is the stretch item for apple where I question a actual need for it. I guess I am being a prude about it but, I keep hearing about it everywhere. For god sake it was the top story on the Huffingtonpost post for almost a full day and a top story for the majority of the main stream media. Maybe I am wrong and I will eventually sucker myself to buy an Ipad or something similar eventually.

Music wise lately still listening to new stuff like the Gorillaz and Jamie Cullum's new albums which are both great, also in heavy Rotation Mastodon's Crack the Skye and Phoenix's Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix.But a winner for great album cover goes to the Deftones.Always a big fan of there music a good alternative metal band that always keeps things interesting in my opinion. This is there best album cover yet. Hopefully Diamond Eyes will be another great Deftones album.

Oh,Barn Owl can you do no Wrong

For my first in awhile it feels good to write again on here hopefully this will be more frequent event like it use to be.Fill free to comment below, am I an idiot for not liking the ipad? Are there any other game ending that you felt where great or terrible? Last thing no comments can denounce Barn owl look into those eyes, it will blow your mind.

Boom! Encouragement!!

Finally, after too many months of miserable weather, it is spring time!

New season, new view points, lessons learned.

Not only was today the first day i skipped most my classes to enjoy the weather, but it was also the first trip to the REZ to kayak with my good buddies Ryan and Rory, epic.

But there is a major down fall about the new season, especially in Tallahassee (south GA), all the sorostiutes and fratastic broskis are out in droves. No kidding, it essentially a shallow-low self esteem love fest with these folks... the girls in their 'bit too tight dresses' (not complaining here) or the broskis in their faded pastel colored shorts, sunglasses with the strap on the back, boat shoes and t-shirts with the fish on the back of them, or when they aren't wearing shirts they have their steroid induced shaved chest and their new haircut... it's so sad sometime, but these girls (and i mean that term very literally) EAT this conformity shit up! Maybe it's because they have to dumb themselves down because thats what they think this less than intelligent guys want?? Also, no matter WHAT she says or how many times she swears shes not like the rest, ALL GEORGIA WOMEN ARE THE SAME. Redic... Jamie, tell some truth..

Sometimes i wish i could be a douche bag and go all Ben Roethlisberger over text loving, MTV watching, my small dog fits in my purse girls... but sadly, mediocrity isn't a turn on of mine.

(really Ben?! you could have any girl in Pittsburgh, and you choose some random small town girl from middle Georgia?! you deserve to get caught... sorry Tiger.)

We are only 4 weeks away from all the kids, and yes i'm getting old and i label them as kids, will be gone (and one day last week i did say to someone, 'remember when we were younger, music was so much better'). REALLY?! 1. i do NOT wake up feeling like P-diddy, 2. unless you are playing Poker, you should NOT have a poker face and 3. Bedrock is where the flintstones live, not some cleaver way to say you 'slay hoes'. STOP LIKING MUSIC BECAUSE YOU ARE TOLD TO LIKE IT!

b.t.w... how anyone was surprised when Ricky Martin came out of the closet should be taken out back and smacked with a rubber hose... (shake your bon bon... C'MON PEOPLE!!!)

until next time kids,

k-DUBS