10 Things More Annoying Than The Ting Tings...

As you can probably guess, the title of the song is "That's Not My Name", and the band's name is The Ting Tings. I'm sure that you have heard this song on the radio in the past few weeks. If you haven't yet, you probably will. I have a funny feeling that, unfortunately... this will be 2009's "Girlfriend" so to speak. God help us all...

So, you're probably asking yourself, what-oh-what could be more interesting than that damn song? For the first time on this blog, I have begrudgingly decided to have a co-author to this article. Okay, so maybe he punched me in the face, and wrote half of the list while I was cleaning up the blood, but whatever. To find out 10 things we find more annoying than the Ting Tings, click on the link below.

So now... 10 Things More Annoying Than The Ting Tings:

10. [Secret Agent Michael Scarn] The fact that I cannot talk about Fight Clu... oops, I've said too much.
[Rafael] You're an idiot...

9. [Secret Agent Michael Scarn] Mark Buehrle. What gives him the right to be so perfect through 45 consecutive batters? Who does he think he is?
[Rafael] By know I assume that the readers know that he was speaking ironically, and that we have nothing but praise for his work.

8. [Secret Agent Michael Scarn]Rafael on the phone -- whether it be it Kate or any other caller, Rafael clearly knows nothing about phone etiquette. And he has a tiny penis. A very tiny penis.
[Rafael] But Chris, you know we are twins, right? You know, if you are saying that I am sm--
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] I stand by my statement!!!

7. [Rafael] Lawn gnomes. Screw you Travelocity!
Secret Agent Michael Scarn] Really? I kinda like them.
{Rafael] No you don't. You just like to piss me off.
Secret Agent Michael Scarn] Well, yeah... that's true!

6. [Rafael] Carlos Zambrano. He is a decent enough pitcher, but the guy is way too emotional. He acts like he single handily won the world series every single time he strikes a guy out. We get it! You are a douche!
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] Hold on now, the only reason you don't like him is because he plays for the Cubs. If he pitched for the White Sox, you would love him.
[Rafael] That's not true...
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] Okay, than what about Magglio Ordonez? You used to love the guy when he was with the White Sox, but now that he is with the Tigers, you hate him.
[Rafael] That's different.
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT?
[Rafael] It's very simple... screw you!

5. [Secret Agent Michael Scarn] The whole, "Well, God does everything for a reason," excuse. F%@k that!!! If God didn't want children to be molested, he wouldn't have created Michael Jackson!!! You know what I'm talking about. Yes, sweet, supple children with those delicate orifices -- they know not what they do...
[Rafael] wow... just wow...

4. [Rafael] Jay Leno. I have nothing against you as a person, but you are such a tool. You finally step down from the Tonight Show, giving Conan the spotlight. Then, not two months before you are off the air, NBC announces not only that you are coming back, but that you are taking up 5 hours of prime time every week!!! What the F@*k! Seriously....
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] That is not cool... You don't do that! God!!! I am so mad right now!!! GAWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
[Rafael] Don't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he is angry...

3. [Rafael] Deal or No Deal!!! That has got to be the dumbest game show in the history of game shows. It is just a bunch of people screaming "Deal" or "No Deal". That's it? That is considered "Must-See" television these days?
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] I know!!! How is this even considered a game show? THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SKILL INVOLVED!!! At least on other shows, there is some skill involved. With Deal or No Deal, you just pick a damn case, and start shouting "No deal!" at the top of your lungs like some idiot.
[K-dubs] Come on guys, the show's not that bad...
[Rafael and Secret Agent Michael Scarn] F@*K YOU KEVIN!!!

2. Secret Agent Michael Scarn] Sarah Palin!!! 'Nuff Said!!!
[Rafael] To be honest, I am more indifferent to Sarah Palin. She can't help it if she is a complete f@*king moron. Its the people who support Sarah Palin that I can't stand. The other day, I saw a bumper sticker that read, "Sarah for President, 2012". What the hell is wrong with you? How can you sit there with a strait face and tell me that she is the best choice to represent the people of America. She has little to no experience whatsoever, she is dumber than a dead possum with down syndrome, and she is consistently under investigation for abusing her power. I can't understand how everyone can understand that, but because she is moderately attractive, and supports shooting guns, she is a serious contender to win her party's nomination.

1. [Secret Agent Michael Scarn] The fact that Edward Norton has only been nominated for one Academy Award, yet Cher has one on her mantle.
[Rafael] Chris, I know that you are upset about Ed Norton, but the only reason you are even talking about him is because that movie has been on T.V. almost 20 times in the past week.
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] And what movie would that be, exactly?
[Rafael] Fight Clu--
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] THE FIRST RULE ABOUT FIGHT CLUB IS THAT YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!!!

Before I leave you, I -- Rafael DelBosque IV -- would like to announce that I am a loser and am terribly sorry for messing with Chris' Bruce Springsteen poster. And I promise never to do it again. I also feel as though mentioning my tiny penis deserves a second comment, because it is so small.

[Rafael] What did you say?
[Secret Agent Michael Scarn] nothing...

THE END