Saturday, May 9, 2009

100 Days of Mark Steele



Will the real leader of the GOP please stand up?

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Anyone?

Today marks the one hundredth day of Mark Steele’s tenure as the RNC chairman. During that short – yet memorable – time in office, the gaffe-prone Steele has become the face of the party. Unfortunately for the GOP, that is probably the worst news possible. One day he’ll make a fairly moderate remark, the next he recants it; he continuously makes any moderate Republican wonder if there is room for him or her at the GOP table. Things are so bad for Steele that he was reportadly snubbed by the major networks after asking to appear on the Sunday morning talk shows following Sen. Specter's departure from the party. Steele is to the GOP what the 1919 Black Sox were to baseball. Now the only question is: will there be a “Babe Ruth” to save the party?

For conversation’s sake, let’s take a look at the “saviors” of the party:

Sarah Palin – Governor of Alaska. The young, former VP nominee is proud of the fact that she prefers teaching abstinence to high school instead of safe sex measures (which may be the reason why her seventeen-year-old daughter had a baby out of wedlock), is proud of the fact that she is not the smartest person in any room she walks in (she’s just a regular person like you!), and has never met an interview that she couldn’t butcher, literally.

Bobby Jindal – Governor of Louisiana. The young governor (he’s only 35) is apparently unaware that it is not 1950, mocked the government spending millions of dollars for early volcano detection in Alaska only five years after suffering the greatest natural disaster in the country’s history, and is proud of the fact that he once took part in an exorcism.

Mitch McConnell – Senate Minority Leader. At age 67, it is doubtful that McConnell will be a future leader of the party, but he is still a very vital member of the GOP. Is most famous for having opposed the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act, campaign contribution reform, and for his recent comments regarding the closure of Guantanamo Bay, claiming that the Democrats could be releasing “murderers” into the streets. Under his vision and leadership, the GOP has gone from 55 to 40 senate seats.

John Boehner – Minority Leader of the House of Representatives. Boehner is well known for his disdain for President Obama’s style of government, even releasing a video asking Americans if they “feel safer.” He openly cuts down a sitting president, that along with Boehner’s opposition to economic reform, his close ties to lobbyists, his involvement in the Mark Foley Scandal, and his knowledge of global warming, are enough for him to expect a rapid downfall in the near future. The one thing going for him is his relationship to young people, as evidenced here in this video.

Eric Cantor – Minority Whip of the House of Representatives. Perhaps no man has championed the GOP’s position on the stimulus bill as has Cantor. The mere idea of helping our country’s backbone, lending institutions, escape collapse has Cantor screaming “Socialism!” For a man who claims that the Democrats are wrong, he seems to have very little answers to offer instead of his criticisms; simply put, he is a “no” man. He apparently has little to no respect for the president as well, skipping a major speech by the president to attend a Britney Spears concert. Oh, and it helps a lot when you stop telling people that you were considered to be a VP nomination by John McCain, especially when it’s not true.

Other party leaders include:

Newt Gingrich
Mike Huckabee
Mitt Romney
Jeb Bush
Rudy Giuliani
Rush Limbaugh
Bill O'Reilly

and...

Jonathan Krohn, a 13-year-old boy

So there you have it, the GOP.

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